A visual diary of how I spent SUMMER 2016.
Some pictures are featured on my Instagram.
“I almost wish we were butterflies and liv’d but three summer days – three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.”
– John Keats.
Ice cream at a shop called Molly Moon’s on the last day of school. Hours before my friends left me crying in the bathroom at a party. It’s okay now, though. 6/22/16.
Taking a picture of my family and friends on Mt. Baker, holding two cameras. 6/26/16.
Hiking on a mountain near Whistler, British Columbia, Canada. On vacation for the 4th of July. 7/2/16.
An awesome art piece in Gould Hall at the University of Washington. Went to see it with a friend at a summer camp. 7/6/16.
Cannon Beach, Oregon makes me feel all moody and emo inside, but it’s beautiful all the same. 7/22/16.
The beach is too bright, the sand is too white, and the sky is too beautiful. Also, the water is f*cking freezing. 7/24/16.
August is filled with melancholic reminiscing on summer, and dreading school with my whole body and soul. This accidental picture was taken while playing Pokemon Go with a friend. 8/17/16.
Overall, it’s been pretty uneventful, even in context of what usually happens to me during the summer.
But hasn’t it been pretty?
Why aren’t we allowed to love ourselves?
Why can’t we love our lumps and our edges? Why do we have to hate the rolling hills of our soft, rounded bellies or the angled, crisp peaks of our ‘scarily thin’ elbows? My body, your body, her body, his body, their bodies – they’re all bags of bone soup inside a thin, stretchy skin. Who cares if there’s more? More to love. Who cares if there’s less? Less to cherish.
Who says that black, coily hair is ‘uglier’ then straight blonde hair? Who says dark, espresso colored skin is ‘uglier’ than peachy colored skin? Who says that small eyes and flat noses are ‘uglier’ than pointy noses and doe eyes? Our bodies are rhapsodies of color and texture and size, each equally, awesomely stunning, in its own way. Each body is a work of art, a delicate act, with each gorgeous part of you working together to make the miracle of life. How can you compare Picasso and Monet? Van Gogh and O’Keeffe? How can you simplify a masterpiece into a rating out of ten? How can you put art into a 2×2 box and say, “okay, this is what’s beautiful, and everything outside it is not”?
Why can’t we show off our self love? Why can’t you talk about how beautiful you think you are, what you like about yourself? Why is positivity about your body taboo and virtually off limits to talk about? Why do you have to post selfies with the caption “I am a trashcan” or “I look so ugly”, or risk being called stuck up or full of yourself? We’re taught that even when we find something to love, something that we think is unique and pretty and awesome, that we’re not allowed to show it off. We’re not allowed to have confidence about our bodies.
In the movie Mean Girls, there’s a scene where queen bees Regina, Gretchen, and Karen stand in front of a mirror and list off all the things that they hate about themselves, and expect the ‘fish out of water character’, Cady, to join in. They’re shocked and astonished to hear that she doesn’t keep a mental list of things that are bad about her physical appearance. God, she’s so weird, right? What did she do before them? Think she’s really pretty? Like her body?
“No, no, no! You should always love yourself!” we scream, over and over again. In makeup adverts, magazines, commericals, on social media. Only, we add, “but you have to be a perfect size 2 and tan and blonde and blue eyed and muscular but not too muscular and dressed the right way”. In order to qualify to have self confidence, you have to fit a certain mold. If you don’t, honey, get a box of bleach and a treadmill, and then when you’ve fixed the problems, maybe you can love your body too. But only once everyone else thinks it’s right.
Screw you. It’s my body, and I’ll love it if I want to.
What’s going on this month (what’s STUPID – stuff, tunes, up, poopy, incredible, don’t)
Recently, to keep up with the ~*trendy*~ kids, I’ve bought uber expensive Birkenstocks and a black velvet choker. Stretchy ones are finally over, girls! On the makeup side, I’ve been loving the Milk Eye Vinyls (they give you a a very high fashion, 2004 Britney’s lip gloss but for the eyes, super chic look) and my apparently discontinued Anastasia Beverly Hills Gleam Glow Kit.
I’m afraid I don’t have anything for you this month but a whole lot of BEYONCE!!! Ugh, you’re probably saying in your head. Well, you’re going to read this and like it, suckers! First up, the song that made everyone go, oh sh*t, Jay-Z is dead meat – Hold Up. And also the song that I referred to as Surfboard before this month, Drunk in Love. You can’t forget the godly feminist anthem Flawless too! (There’s another version with NICKI MINAJ which makes me want to puke happiness.) Of course, I can’t forget about my OG Beyonce love. Count-f!cking-down. You’re welcome.
LOL you really thought I would have something goin’ on? It’s August, girls. All I’ve been doing this month is nurturing my building anxiety about HIGH SCHOOL. *screams into the void* Also, if you’re curious, I made up with my friends…Yeah.
Is there even a single doubt about what I’m going to put here? SCHOOL. Can’t yell it louder. Also, my blog looking like a moving train wreck. Also, the fact that my friends refuse to respond to my texts. Also, 90+ temperatures. Yeah, if you think this is long now, wait till you read this section in September.
There is so muuuch that is great this month. I’m not even being sarcastic. First of all – the Olympics, anyone? There’s nothing better than watching the world’s most athletically gifted people on the couch with a bag of Fritos. Also, there’s nothing that makes you feel as incompetent. This year was the first Olympics for me where an Olympian was younger than me. I’ll be looking forward to Tokyo 2020, when I’ll be older than most of the gymnasts on the US team. Great. Also, SIMONE BILES!!! KATIE LEDECKY!!!! MICHAEL PHELPS!!!!! USAIN BOLT!!!!!! Secondly, Pokemon Go is pretty awesome, even if the rarest Pokemon in my area is like a 112 cp Weedle. It’s forced my lazy a$$ to get up off the couch and actually walk. Additionally, I’m not going to get all political on everyone, but the downfall of a certain presidential candidate makes me feel all happy inside. Also, there’s no school right now, which is pretty fine, where I’m concerned. Yeah, pretty great month.
…literally individually rip each one of your hairs out at the thought of school.
I love you guys. Wish me luck.
what’s going on this month (what’s STUPID – stuff, tunes, up, poopy, incredible, don’t)
I’ve been really, really, into this t-shirt made by Explorer’s Press. Also, I’ve been using a lot of the silvery ‘Pots & Pans’ color of this eye shadow/pencil/crayon thing as either a silver eyeliner-ish thing or an eyeshadow. Finally, I’ve been lusting over this SUPER CUTE pair of retro sunglasses and this amazing, vintage looking bralette (by the words ‘retro’ and vintage’, you can probably tell these are both from UO).
Recently, I’ve been experiencing a Lana Del Rey renaissance and listening to Carmen and Video Games by her. Also, for a research project, I’ve been listening to 50’s pop and I don’t hesitate to admit that I’ve listened to Patience and Prudence’s cover of Gonna Give Ya Up Now wayyyyy more than I should have.
School just let out, and on the last day, I had a HUGE fight with my friends. Not fun. They still haven’t apologized, btw. But other than that, not much. I’m trying to start blogging more again, and writing a lot. I’m also teaching myself algebra (when will it STOP) so it’ll be (hopefully) easier to learn during the school year, and going over my basic Spanish so I can pass the Spanish entrance exam at the beginning of the school year. Muy aburrido.
My fight with my friends. The fact that everyone isn’t taking my side. Donald Trump. Christina Grimmie. The Orlando shooting. The weather (it’s been 50~ and raining where I live most of the time).
My friends’ audacity. Christina Grimmie’s brother. The ignorance of people who still think that there shouldn’t be stricter gun laws. The snapchat filter that makes a little star halo around your head. My new post titles. Converse.
…procrastinate on finishing your homework or studying for finals.
…buy a $40 highlighter palette that you’ll never wear.
…call your friends fake (@ them).
…vote for Donald Trump.